There are few things that bug me more than being lied to. It really irks me. Recently, I was lied to by a manager where I work. I asked her a question and she gave me an answer. I didn’t like the choice she made but I accepted it. When she walked away, my direct manager told me it wasn’t true. My manager looked in the system and it showed the truth. That really bothered me. My weekend came to an end and I noticed that I didn’t want to go to work. It wasn’t the usual, I don’t feel like it that most people get from time to time. I really didn’t want to go. I don’t usually feel that way so I had to sit down and figure out what my problem was. With a little reflection I realized it was the lie that was bothering me. There are few things that bother me more than lying.
I don’t want to work with people that I can’t trust, especially managers. I don’t expect managers, or anyone else, to be perfect. I just think lying is not acceptable. I decided I needed to do something so that I could be comfortable at work. I consulted with another manager and asked how I should handle it (I didn’t name names, of course). She said I should just talk to the original manager and try to straighten it out.
I went up to the manager that lied and told her that I didn’t feel good about the information that she passed along because it wasn’t true and that it bothered me. I told her that it felt like she lied and that because she is a manager I want to be able to trust her. She said she wished I had brought it up sooner and told me what actually happened. I thanked her and walked away. This new story was another lie.
After a few hours I was still bothered by this whole situation. I realize that I have no control over her and the choices she makes. Her choice to lie and then to cover that lie with another shows a great deal about her maturity and character. She is, at least aware that I know better about the first lie and that I don’t appreciate it. Her choices are not a reflection of me or are choices that I would make. That was the best I could do for having a good attitude about the whole thing.
I was still bothered. And then a quote on facebook came to the rescue. “There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something that we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: ‘Judge not’ – Thomas S. Monson”
I had my moment of clarity. I prayed for help to let it go. God is a miracle worker because it went away. All of those bad feelings disappeared and was replaced with peace. That was a huge blessing.
I don’t like what happened but I am at peace with it. In the end, I am happy with the situation. I had an opportunity to see the character of another person. I will be cautious around her but I won’t judge her. This was another beautiful reminder that I am responsible for my happiness and no one else.